And here comes the bullet

And if you read the last entry you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Friends, family, people. Why do they matter to us when human nature takes over and they hurt us so viscously?

Then again, why do I have bouts of depression, say I'm doing one thing, and then fine the next? It's simple.
I'm an attention whore. I don't intend to be. I just spurt off things I don't necessarily mean to say.

So if you have some abiding concern over me, I'm telling you now to get over it. I'm fine and there's no worrying.

And if you have a concern, allow me to state it like this.
If I live through this, whoo. I can out everyone through this another week!

If I do not, it's better that way.

So Today

Life decided to catch up with me; again. It's like a train you try to out run, but in the end it always hits you.

last night, I had my iPod taken away over one of the most idiotic reasons ever. I was using the camera. But that's fine, I guess.
When my aunt started talking to my dad and he started getting pissed off and wanting to take it out on me again, I went to my room and cried.
I was depressed.

So then I went outside for a bit and dealt with myself.
It was all good.

Well, today. No iPod.
Dad bitches at me for wearing my eyeliner on my eyelids ( Look at Jared Leto. It's like that. It's not like, scene. ) and tells me whatever.
I don't care.

I go to school and I tell my friends of this BS. And they offer me to go live with them, which I might just take up. I love my dad and all but I'm getting sick and tired of these invasions of privacy. I don't go through his life. He shouldn't go through mine. I'm doing nothing that endangers my health or anyone else, sexually active, or even dating. Therefore, he has no rhyme or reason to be messing with my things and this is totally unabashed and void.

Annnndd my sister, to show me her class in an attempt for..... Hell, I don't even know what she was after with this... whatever, showed me a video that one of the moms made.
I don't really like the elementary school moms anyways. They're pretty stiff upper lip and they act like it's the 1980's still.
But whatever, can't do anything about it.
So I kind of left with a heavy weight on me.
Her class is doing all this great stuff and what not.
What have I done all school year?
Failed classes, made some friends, established my future career, listened to music, did schoolwork, got bitched at, made friends, lost friends, stuck with P*DS, dated a guy for three weeks and had it not work at all.
Got over it, failed Algebra, departed ways with my mentor ( Note; email her ) failed Algebra some more, had more stress thrown on me like I could deal with it, started coming to terms with I had feelings for a thirteen year old girl, admitted them to someone, went through panic, told the girl, dated her for three weeks, broke up, had a depression spiral, failed an exam again, did well in history, learned to draw manga, still getting over said girl, had a kind of great birthday, then had the best gift taken away, anddddd are now dealing with the ungrateful bastard that is my father.
I do everything I can. Sure, I'm lazy. Sure, I bitch about chores, sure, I do this, sure I do that. I deal with a lot more things that I should and because of the way I act and because of how I am, people judge me because it's against their values.
Cool.
Guess it's apart of being a teenager, I guess.

Well, with only nine days left of school now, guess I can't complain. Better hope I pass the re-take I finished today and the quiz I took. Better hope my dad doesn't have another ragefit and take one of the only outlets for my emotion that I have left.
Or he goes through my things again.
Better hope for the best even if the worst is yet to come, and then take the medicine without throwing up, right?

Buuuttt this utterly sick feeling in the pit of my stomach means I'm bound for another panic attack, followed by more depression.
Wish me well.